What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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