My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
