no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
