Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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