I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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