Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
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By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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