I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
