remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
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I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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