Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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