OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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