he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
