I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
