the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize