You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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