absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
