Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Someone came in the potted fern
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize