There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
