The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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