Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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