Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
