She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
