Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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