Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
