none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
barbara walters just said penis...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Drunk is a universal language darling
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
