my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
