he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
