If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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