Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
