Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
