my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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