he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
