dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
