I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
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idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Come on in and take your pants off
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