are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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