I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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