brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize