He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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