This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
