Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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