I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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