i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
