Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
