My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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