I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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