i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
my god I love twenty year old dicks
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
