I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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