My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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