I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
