I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize