You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
