Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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