he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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