im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
