i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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