They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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