think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize