New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
