As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
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Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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