I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
